


Tuesday

by orphan_account



Series: Angst [1]
Category: jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cutting, Depressing, Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, References to Depression, Sad, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 19:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6127420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Waking up alone can hurt more than words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tuesday

**Author's Note:**

> tw // self-harm, loss and suicide

_One, two, three, four... breathe, babe, it's okay._

Jack remembers all the nights he couldn't breathe. All the nights he called up Mark and didn't even have to say anything before Mark was counting down with him. All the nights Mark was there for him.

_I promise I'll never leave you._

Jack remembers a specific night when he had a bad dream. Mark left him for someone else - someone prettier, thinner, better. Jack cut himself for the first time that night. Mark still doesn't know how it started.

_You, you're my passion._

Jack remembers the evening when Mark first said 'I love you.' It was a Tuesday and they were on Skype.

_You're so beautiful, baby. What did I do to deserve you?_

He also remembers a night during IndyPopCon, when they gave themselves to each other. He was drunk but the memory still hasn't faded.

_God, I love you._

He remembers the time he moved to America. Mark never left his side. People clapped when they jumped into each other's arms at the airport and Jack cried all night as Mark whispered to him.

_This is my boyfriend, obviously._

It was also a Tuesday when they came out in a live stream.

_I can't believe you._

It was 3 a.m. when they got in their first official fight and Mark wouldn't stop yelling - causing their neighbors to knock on the door and politely ask them to keep it down. Jack locked the bathroom door and didn't come back out for hours.

_I'm sorry._

Jack remembers Mark's apology but he still doesn't believe it.

_We need to take a break._

Jack remembers when Mark went home to Ohio for three weeks to 'find himself again.' 

_I can't do this anymore._

Jack remembers tears rushing down his face as he pleaded Mark not to go. Mark stood in the door frame with shaking hands, carrying his suitcases. Jack was helpless.

_Goodbye._

The pills were pastel pink, the blood crimson red. His hands were shaking and he felt dizzy but in that moment, all he wanted was for something to fucking work out.

_You tried to commit suicide._

Jack remembers waking up in a bright room with blank, white walls. He also remembers looking out the window and seeing a familiar face smoking a cigarette on a bench in the rain.

_I feel like it was my fault._

He remembers Mark holding his hand, never leaving his side, for two whole days he had to stay at the hospital. Jack didn't say a word.

_I should've never left you._

He remembers Mark moving back in.

_Ever since I got the call, I'm so scared, Jack._

He remembers telling Mark it was okay, when he knew it wasn't.

_I reached twenty million subs today._

The two went out to a fancy restaurant for a celebratory dinner. Mark proposed.

_Will you marry me?_

Jack said yes.

_I do._

They got married on a Tuesday in April.

_I wanna adopt children, move out to the countryside. I think I'm gonna quit YouTube._

Jack remembers Mark's last video.

_You should too._

He really didn't want to give up his career just yet, but he did for Mark.

_Her name is Isabelle and this is Caitlyn._

He remembers adopting two daughters, Isabelle and Caitlyn.

_I'm going out, I'll be back soon._

Jack remembers the last words Mark ever said to him. 

_Is this Sean McLoughlin?_

He remembers the hospital calling like it was yesterday.

There was a car accident. Doctors ruled it a suicide. Mark drove off the bridge without contacting any other vehicles. Witnesses reported that he was crying.

_I love you._

Jack never got to say those words again.

_I'll call you when we get there._

Jack remembers promising Cat and Belle he'd be alright while they were away.

_I'm so sorry._

Jack also remembers the tears staining the sheet of paper as he tried to write.

He remembers tying the noose and hanging it up in the hall.

He remembers his own last words.

_See you soon, baby._

 


End file.
